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Encouraging and fostering dreams in young girls

Susan Bartell
Research shows that it’s important for children to dream about all they can become and everything they want to accomplish in the future—even if these dreams never come true. Dreaming increases cognitive flexibility, encourages creativity and supports healthy risk-taking. Dreaming is particularly important for young girls because it empowers them to begin thinking about themselves as a nurturer (playing with dolls and playing ‘house’), thinking about the ways they might contribute to the world in other ways, and also imagining financial security (pretending to be a teacher, business owner or doctor). A recent survey by VTech confirms that parents recognize and value the importance of supporting their child’s dreams—even when these dreams seem like a fantasy (like being a famous actor or world-class athlete). However, many parents may chose to support their daughter’s dreams, but, they may be a little hesitant to do so.. Here are the four important steps to help you support your child’s dreams in order to encourage and support healthy dreaming:

1. Listen more than you talk: Your daughter will be happy to chat with you about her dreams, hopes, and ideas for the future. It’s important to listen, be curious and to not judge. Keep in mind that she will likely change her mind many times between now and adulthood. Your job at this time is to admire her self-confidence and support her self-esteem by letting her know that you care about her dreams for the future.
2. Offer support within boundaries: It’s important for your child to feel that you value her dreams for the future. However, this doesn’t mean you need to spend beyond your budget for musical instruments, art supplies, cooking lessons or the any other dream she may have right now. Instead, start small, offering just what she needs to test her dream. You can always increase your investment if she demonstrates a sustained interest in this particular aspiration.
3. Encourage but don’t push: There is a fine line between encouraging a dream and becoming so excited that you push it on your child. For example, your daughter may enjoy cooking and love to watch cooking shows on TV. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to be a pastry chef or open a restaurant. It might simply mean that she wants to be a terrific cook for her family. Allow your daughter to establish her own rhythm for her dream. Remember…listen more than you talk.
4. Move on: In most instances, a child’s dream lasts only a short time before it is replaced by a new dream. Even when a dream lasts for months or years, it is usually, eventually usurped by a more ‘grown up’ dream. However, no matter how short or long a dream lasts, it has enormous value to a girl’s emotional and cognitive growth—empowering her to think outside the box. Besides, you never know…nothing has ever been invented or discovered by someone that didn’t dream big!
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Deborah Sharp Libby
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Susan Bartell
Child Psychology Expert
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